Ok, some wierd things happend yesterday. I get to work and Sam tells me these people checked in and actually asked if there were any gay people staying at the hotel; because they dispise "those kind of people" and if they found out that there were, they would invoke the 100% satisfaction guarantee, and speak to the manager. I had to laugh , little did they know the manager is a big 'ole homo!! LOL. But, it is a little frightening, I know there are still close minded people in the world...and that is their right to think that way...but when you hear words like "dispise"...well it's just frightening.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
Busy Day
This was a great day. Busy, busy, busy! We started the morning with a 5-mile walk in Fort Collins along the Poudre trail. That was great, saw lots of wildlife. I may not be as into the birding as Jeff is, but I still think it's beautiful.
Then once we got home, we desided to attack the damn store room that has been up to the ceiling with boxes since we moved in...wince. It's now a clean utility room. It was nice that James said he could take all those boxes, saves having to take them to the recylcing center.
Finally, we gave the car a good cleaning, inside & out. OMG did it need it! But it looks nice now. :0)
My Dad called twice today. Once at 8am right before we left for the hike, he sounded either drunk or stoned...wasn't sure. But there was another message around 530pm wishing us a happy easter again so I would speculate he was drunk the first time, that's when he usually forgets. The stoned calls he usually remembers. UGH, he can be annoying sometimes. But what are you going to do...no one is perfect, and everyone else has turned there back on him. I do worry about his health though, and Robbie's as well. Those meds that Robbie takes are toxic enough without adding alcohol and/or pot. But, I guess he's lasted this long, so something must be ok. ;-)
I do miss my family, sometimes I wish we could live closer to them. But the only option would be Seattle, because I just don't think I could handle Spokane, and if we lived as far as Seattle, we may as well be here...there would be about as many visits. And if you exclude Mom & Dad and Dad & Robbie that would equal zero! I can't really blame them though, they all have kids, and it makes it very hard to put trips together, I just wish I could see my nieces and nephews grow up. I feel like my aunt terri, when I was a kid, she lived in Portland, and we saw her about once every few years. I mean Kelice is the only one that really knows me...to the rest of them, I am just this person they are told they are supposed to call Uncle Pat, but they don't really know me. Oh well, what are you gonna do? LOL
Gawd this entry went all kinds of directions...guess that's what was on my mind tonight. :0)
Then once we got home, we desided to attack the damn store room that has been up to the ceiling with boxes since we moved in...wince. It's now a clean utility room. It was nice that James said he could take all those boxes, saves having to take them to the recylcing center.
Finally, we gave the car a good cleaning, inside & out. OMG did it need it! But it looks nice now. :0)
My Dad called twice today. Once at 8am right before we left for the hike, he sounded either drunk or stoned...wasn't sure. But there was another message around 530pm wishing us a happy easter again so I would speculate he was drunk the first time, that's when he usually forgets. The stoned calls he usually remembers. UGH, he can be annoying sometimes. But what are you going to do...no one is perfect, and everyone else has turned there back on him. I do worry about his health though, and Robbie's as well. Those meds that Robbie takes are toxic enough without adding alcohol and/or pot. But, I guess he's lasted this long, so something must be ok. ;-)
I do miss my family, sometimes I wish we could live closer to them. But the only option would be Seattle, because I just don't think I could handle Spokane, and if we lived as far as Seattle, we may as well be here...there would be about as many visits. And if you exclude Mom & Dad and Dad & Robbie that would equal zero! I can't really blame them though, they all have kids, and it makes it very hard to put trips together, I just wish I could see my nieces and nephews grow up. I feel like my aunt terri, when I was a kid, she lived in Portland, and we saw her about once every few years. I mean Kelice is the only one that really knows me...to the rest of them, I am just this person they are told they are supposed to call Uncle Pat, but they don't really know me. Oh well, what are you gonna do? LOL
Gawd this entry went all kinds of directions...guess that's what was on my mind tonight. :0)
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Back on the Wagon
Jeff and I have been back on the Low-Carb wagon full force since Tuesday. It was about time too! I was begining to feel like such crap, and when I got on that scale and saw I was over 200 again, I about cried!! Cookies and cake don't taste that damn good! Especially with the low-carb treats that are out there. It's funny, I didn't think I would have the will power to be as strict as I was before, but once I desided, it was like a light switch. I am so glad that it's only 25 lbs this time and not the 110 it was before. I fully expect to be back where I was in 1-2 months. And there will never be a "vacation" again. This is a lifestyle, not a "diet". I don't know why we let ourselves slide back into that again...sure the regular fast food was good, sure the desserts are good, but not when I am gaining 10 lbs a month. And not feeling like exercising..which just compounds it. Nope, no more cheating, no reason to!! Ok, that's my soap box about that.
I made my appointment for my 6-week post exposure test today, it's next Thursday. Jeff said he's worried, and I can tell as he was being moody today. I am quite sure I am fine, but you always want to double check. He's coping device of thinking and planning for the worse gets to me sometimes. Granted, like he said, if you are already on the bottom in your mind, there's no where to go but up. But, I think that thinking positive (and being realistic) and maybe getting let down is better, at least that way you are happy up until that point, and if you get good news...there was no wasted energy.
I made my appointment for my 6-week post exposure test today, it's next Thursday. Jeff said he's worried, and I can tell as he was being moody today. I am quite sure I am fine, but you always want to double check. He's coping device of thinking and planning for the worse gets to me sometimes. Granted, like he said, if you are already on the bottom in your mind, there's no where to go but up. But, I think that thinking positive (and being realistic) and maybe getting let down is better, at least that way you are happy up until that point, and if you get good news...there was no wasted energy.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Out of options
Well, Terry Shiavo's parents are out of options, and there she lays in that bed...no food or water. We discussed this before class today. My instructor worked in Nursing homes for years, he explained to me that in that state there are no brain waves, that's what makes it different from someone who has, say Huntington's...in those cases there is upper level brain activity. But I still don't know. I don't know if I actually believe that she can't feel pain. Although, the fact that they have her filled up with Morphine does help. That would help a fully aware person with severe pain. I truly hope that she can't feel what's happening to her, I truly hope, as John said, her system will just slowly shut down and she will fade away peacefully.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Crazy World
I just don't get it, life used to seem so much simpler. We have this stupid war going on, a 16 yr old going on a killing spree, Terri Shaivo being starved to death...sometimes I long for the days when my biggest concern was what to wear to school.
Is it wrong that I didn't really care what was happening outside my little world then? I don't think so! Those days when my mind wasn't racing with all this drama in the world. That could have been me in Iraq...had I stayed in the military, that could be going on that shooting rampage...had I been in similar circumstances, and that could be me...trapped in my own body...unable to communicate, unable to let people know that yes I can feel myself dying of thirst and starvation.
Wow, this post was quite the ramble, but sometimes we just need to get our thoughts out, whether or not they string together. :)
Is it wrong that I didn't really care what was happening outside my little world then? I don't think so! Those days when my mind wasn't racing with all this drama in the world. That could have been me in Iraq...had I stayed in the military, that could be going on that shooting rampage...had I been in similar circumstances, and that could be me...trapped in my own body...unable to communicate, unable to let people know that yes I can feel myself dying of thirst and starvation.
Wow, this post was quite the ramble, but sometimes we just need to get our thoughts out, whether or not they string together. :)
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
First Day
Having not been too impressed with Live Journal, I had basically gone off the idea of having a blog. But, I stumbled upon this site through the aidsmeds.com forum, and thought I would give it another shot. Lord knows I need to vent sometimes...LOL.
Things are finally starting to calm down a bit. I say that, but the funny thing is Jeff and I have gotten into a couple big fights in the last couple days. But he made a very good point to me today, it has only been a month, and I screwed up big time. For all we know I could still be poz...sure I have tested neg once using PCR test, but I still have to get the normal test. Probably going to do that next week, which will be 6-weeks post exposure. Jeff has been so good to me over the years, and all I've done is hurt him. Why am I so selfish? I like to think I am a good person, yet I do these stupid things that hurt him, why??
I hope when all this settles down (regardless of the results from my test) that he and I can continue on the path we started a month ago when all this went down. That we can have a truly commited relationship, and not just go through the motions of being a couple.
Things are finally starting to calm down a bit. I say that, but the funny thing is Jeff and I have gotten into a couple big fights in the last couple days. But he made a very good point to me today, it has only been a month, and I screwed up big time. For all we know I could still be poz...sure I have tested neg once using PCR test, but I still have to get the normal test. Probably going to do that next week, which will be 6-weeks post exposure. Jeff has been so good to me over the years, and all I've done is hurt him. Why am I so selfish? I like to think I am a good person, yet I do these stupid things that hurt him, why??
I hope when all this settles down (regardless of the results from my test) that he and I can continue on the path we started a month ago when all this went down. That we can have a truly commited relationship, and not just go through the motions of being a couple.
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