First Day

Having not been too impressed with Live Journal, I had basically gone off the idea of having a blog. But, I stumbled upon this site through the aidsmeds.com forum, and thought I would give it another shot. Lord knows I need to vent sometimes...LOL.

Things are finally starting to calm down a bit. I say that, but the funny thing is Jeff and I have gotten into a couple big fights in the last couple days. But he made a very good point to me today, it has only been a month, and I screwed up big time. For all we know I could still be poz...sure I have tested neg once using PCR test, but I still have to get the normal test. Probably going to do that next week, which will be 6-weeks post exposure. Jeff has been so good to me over the years, and all I've done is hurt him. Why am I so selfish? I like to think I am a good person, yet I do these stupid things that hurt him, why??

I hope when all this settles down (regardless of the results from my test) that he and I can continue on the path we started a month ago when all this went down. That we can have a truly commited relationship, and not just go through the motions of being a couple.